Occupational difficulties: please stand by

So actually Michigan football is back on the map. booya

My occupation will not define me. I am so tired of believing that. I figure what I will do now is build on what I just said because I learned something yesterday that I already knew. What I do will be the foundation for I do next. So this blog will not be an identity crises spill but it will be an unwinding of future job thoughts. 

I was always gonna be a youth pastor. Almost mirroring M squared except in a more relational way. I then began to despise the church and one of the qualities I hated was their fiscal sense. I would find my self saying I cant believe you spent money on that, douche. Even my new church, methodist, liberal, social, did some things, including running their youth ministry without care for the lay people's money. When money becomes no object is when I start to question what they are doing. 

Turns out I was a little wrong. the youth ministry was not so money whatever. they were speaking these kids languages for all the right reasons and basically, in short, I felt like I could be a part. Except before I came to this conclusion, I had began making plan B. 

I began to like plan B.

In fact I put more thought into plan B then plan A. I was thinking anywhere from Communications, businessish to philosophy and sociology. I was thinking anywhere from preparing for oversees to being a high school teacher. I had some plans let me tell you. 

Now, I am almost back where I started. Just confused and pulled. Even Elyse is sublimianlly telling me where life would be better. I feel like praying until God gives me an answer. problem is I dont believe in that. I am ready to experience it though.