God is dead

There are two main things that when a statement like that is made come up. If that is true then I no longer have security that all is well and in control and I no longer have purpose to live my life. If God, that supernatural being was no more, I would then not have security nor purpose. Then again, that is why we human beings created this thing in the first place.

Whatever the hell happened at the beginning, whether we are some creation of a supernatural force or a natural force, (that being irrelevant at the moment), we as human beings found something out that no other thing found out. We were going to die some day. We can anticipate the future. Does what I do today really have value? Am I of value? These questions threw humans into a hysterical existance and something else needed to be done. Some how humans have to cope with these insecurities. Back then, they realized they existed and that meant that something outside of themselves existed. Maybe they had a mind of their own too? As a human I dont have control over the wind but it affects me, I better not piss it off. Eventually it was assumed that something had control over everything. not only that but we invented ways to give us relations with this something so we might please it thus ensuring our security here. Not only that but this kind of control and power could be used to regulate behavior and create unity for all man kind. We can call it God's will. You know if horses had Gods they would look and act and even desire that which horses desire. There is the birth of our "heavenly father"

Really all God ever was from then until now is a response to our own existence. We would not be strong enough to live with out purpose from that which we cant control. All "He" is is a coping method. They have done it for thousands of years and made God and sustained God for this purpose. But now, God is dead. I killed the super-Ben (the God who changed as i did and so did his desires just mirroring a perfect me or what I thought God should be or what I wanted to be or especially what I needed to feel better. Like a drug) God figure in my life. I quit my addiction to a false sense of security and purpose. I dont need to cope with life this way any more.


So what now...


I begin my search. This inner search for a God that I personally believe started this whole shabang. What am I doing here? I may never know and I sure as hell wont invent my God to answer that or any other question. I have gotten as far as to say it started this. it is the source of life. I also hear things I like from this book or that book or this religion that religion. I am very lost but so very free. Free from a whole mess of delusion. Granted I may end up a Christian or a buddist or a deist or an agnostic, I am free to make a choice. That seems part of being alive anyway. wow, more to come I guess